Midlife Zombie Hunter (The Forty Proof Series Book 5) by Shannon Mayer

Author:Shannon Mayer [Mayer, Shannon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hijinks Ink Publishing
Published: 2021-06-11T18:30:00+00:00

13

Drunk on borrowed whiskey, I stood in front of Missy’s house, confused. Was I really hearing shouting, or was it the whiskey talking? Pots clattered. Glass shattered. A burst of rainbow sparkles shot out of one window, drawing my eyes.

Magic spells being flung around probably didn’t mean much good.

“Alan, am I drunk or are you seeing all that too?”

He rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. “You are drunk, but that noise and all that garbage coming out of the house is happening.”

I took a pull on the whiskey flask. “Damn,” I mumbled. “Empty.” I fumbled but managed to get the flask back into my bag. Must return later. Full. Okay, maybe half full.

I probably stood there too long, but truthfully I wasn’t with it enough to make good decisions.

Until Penny stuck her head out of the door and saw me, her dark eyes wide, her white hair all mussed up. “Damn it, girl, get in here and help us!”

I managed to give her two thumbs up as I stepped onto Missy’s property. A tingle of magic washed over me, and a certain witch screeched from inside the house, “I do not want her help! I do not want her here!”

“You need it!” Penny shrieked back. “We both do! The dead like her!”

I blew out a raspberry and stumbled up the walkway, wobbled up the stairs, and put a hand on the door. “Dead shmed.” Locked. The door was locked.

Feeling brassy, I lifted a foot to kick it in, only as my foot contacted the door, I didn’t give it enough force to actually break anything. Which meant I ended up stumbling backward. My butt hit the railing around the deck, and I flipped right over and into the bushes. Twigs and branches jabbed at me, and I couldn’t help the giggling that followed.

Alan stuck his face through the bushes. “Jesus, you’re a mess.”

“I’m not Jesus,” I stage-whispered. “Though he was like . . . undead too, right?” Oops, that was probably super sacrilegious. Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I giggled and stared through a foggy, frowning Alan.

“Marge is going to want to know about this,” he muttered. I blinked up at him.

“What?”

He shook his head and moved out of my line of sight.

There was another burst of magic that shot out above my head, this one a deep green that shimmered and writhed like smoke come alive. I held a hand up to touch it. “Pretty.”

“Breena!” Penny’s voice snapped me like a whip, and I was up and moving before my brain really engaged. The front door opened, and three zombies stumbled out, saw me, and came straight for me.

Three against one. This should be no problem. Except for the flask of whiskey I’d downed . . .

“Hey, stop it! Go back to sleep.” I pointed a finger at the one closest to me, and he snapped his teeth, barely missing me.

The three of them lunged for me together—faster than any of the other zombies I’d dealt with so far—and tackled me to the ground.

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